I've got great family...

With all the trials we are going through, there is one picture that makes me smile.  I look at it at least once a day.  Each time I look at it, I marvel at it.  My Aunt Hilary ran, RAN a triathlon.  Not only did she finish, which I wouldn't even think of doing, she sent a signed message to Abby.  For those of you who don't know, Abby has a signed name (Hilary's right hand).  In her left she is saying "I love you."  It's amazing and it makes me smile.

We love you too, Hilary!

Will the sun ever come out?

I'm not sure how to talk about something so close and devistating to our hearts...

Three weeks ago, my doctor called and said I needed more testing for possible spina-bifida in our baby.  Mike and I went to that follow-up appointment and we received the biggest shock of our lives.  After meeting with the specialists, they are convinced that our baby will not survive because of multiple physical defects.

Yesterday we went to another appointment, saw every perinatologist that worked at the new IHC hospital.  None of them had definite answers or could agree on what were the causes of his problems.  All they know is that it is life threatening and very, very serious.  Next week I go in for an MRI, to see if they can get a better view.

Yesterday, I took back the few baby clothes I had bought for him.  My insides dared the clerk to ask me why I was returning them.

Abby knows her mom isn't doing very well, no matter how hard I pretend.  She has been so sweet with kisses and hugs.  She knows the baby is sick, but she also knows the dog was sick four weeks ago and now she is an angel.  She can't differenciate between me and the baby, so she worries.  She even asked if after I die, if she will get a new mommy.

Mike and I spoke with a genetics counselor.  We had questions about the relationship between Abby's hearing and our new son's problems.  She said both were like being struck by lightening, twice.

I wish I had some little funny quip to finish off this update, but I have nothing.  Thanks for listening.

What a mixed bag of June...

School is over, I turned my notice in at the garage...  all I can say is, "I finished!"  I had help from my wonderful husband, but I still finished! Yeah!

I got a new job with an old boss with an exciting opportunity.  I'm very excited! 

He wasn't very excited when I told him I needed "six weeks in six months."

This is my second week and things are great.  Yeah!

 

At 17 weeks, I still fit into my pants (well most of them).  Yeah!

We decided to post-pone our trip to California for later in the year.  We are missing a beautiful wedding and seeing wonderful family.  :(

I got a call from the doctor, tomorrow I go in for tests.  There might be something wrong with the baby.  :(

I had a dog, her name was "Holly".  I had raised her from a pup.  She could stand upon her hind legs, if I held her front legs up. 

Saturday, we had to put her to sleep.  Yes, I will admit that at the end, she was becoming high maintenance, but now that she is gone....  I really miss her.  I miss her face, her barking when she hears us coming into the house, her looking at me with undying adoration.  We throw out more leftovers than knew...  It was hard to leave her body at the vet's, I feel like we left part of me there. :(

It's been a rollercoaster, I'm ready to get off the ride...

Bliss List

Diet Pepsi with ice crystals
Laundry caught up
Nap in the afternoon
Unsolicited, "I love you so very much," from Abby
A good gab with a friend

The "Rug"

Several weeks ago, a student at the school wore a ponytail and it was so cute.  I overheard another student compliment her, her response was "it's fake."  

I think we also watch a little too much of "Toddlers and Tiaras"...  that being said, we went shopping for "fake" hair and found a perfect match! 

Abby loves it so much that she has worn it four days running. 

The first night she slept in it.  I came home and when checking on her, took it out.  Four am Abby comes in our room and very loudly demands, "Where's my long hair"...  at 4:01 am help her put it on, just so I can go back to sleep.

Abby walks around with an extra bounce in her step...  thanks to "good" hair.  Abby is totally "rocking" the hair; however,  I have giggled, and giggled, and giggled about her "rug".

I'm Thankful...

(I'm just cleaning house...  now that I can get into my blog, I am posting old entries that were in the "draft" stage.)

Well, Thanksgiving is next week.  I wouldn't believe it, if I hadn't followed the year on the calendar.  Christmas right around the corner, this year will be the funnest yet.  Abby is already talking about Santa.  Before I jump to Christmas and Christmas posts, I want to share what (and who) I am thankful for this year...

My mom.  She loves her family and I'm lucky enough to be one of them!  My mom sets high standards for herself in everything she does.   She loves big and works hard to achieve her goals.  Most days, I don't think I could ever reach what she is.

My sister.  I have missed her so much.  Sometimes when I talk on the phone with her, I think our conversations sound like we are 19th century ladies of the "ton, and other times I am talking to myself which becomes most apparent when we say the same thing at the same time.  She is creative, witty, charming, and loves her kids fiercely.

Mike being out of school.  Wow, we made it!

Mike.  He compliments my personality in every way.  He picks up (literally) my slack.  He isn't above mopping and vaccuming.  When I am overwhelmed he just knows what I need.  After 15 years, I even think he is still funny.  He has become a devoted dad and husband.  He thinks that the world revolves around Abby, which I happen to agree with.

My friends.  They are co-workers, neighbors, visiting teachers, and old roomates.  They help me get through tough days.

Monnie, Kathy, and Hilary.  I lucked out in the in-law department.  As unfortunate as not having actual in-laws, these three strong ladies have filled in 100 fold for their brother and son.  Not a month or holiday goes by without me hearing from at least one or all three.  They spoil us with their time, sentimental gifts, or just something "cool" they have found.  They have conditioned Abby enough that when a package arrives, she thinks it's for her.  Being the only family outside of California, they make sure we know we are missed and loved.  I would have married into their family even without Mike.  (He knows it too!)

I am thankful.

Catching up with One Word Answers

1. Where is your cell phone? bag

2. Your hair? hurried


3.Your Mother? wonderful


4. Your Father? caring


5. Your favourite food? sushi


6.Your dream last night? none


7.Your favourite drink? diet


8.Your dream/goal? happy


9.What room are you in? family


10.Your hobby? When?


11.Your fear? loneliness


12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here


13. Where were you last night? work


14.Something that you are not? skinny


15.Muffins? chocolate


16. Wish list item? jewelry


17. Where did you grow up? farm


18.Last thing you did? blog


19. What are you wearing? smile


20. Your T.V.? 5


21. Your pets? beside


22. Friends? many


23. Your life? hectic


24. Your mood? thankful


25. Missing someone? yes


26. Vehicle? old


27. Something you are not wearing? really?


28.Your favorite store? ross


29. Your favourite colour? black


3o. When was the last time you laughed? minutes


31.Last time you cried? minutes


32.Your best friend? hurting


33.One place that I go to over and over? bookstore


34.One person who emails me regularly? spam


35. Favorite place to eat? burgers


Whew!!! Go ahead and play along if you like!!!


Let me know if you do....